I haven’t provided an update on my wellbeing for a little while. Maybe that’s because I have been feeling a little lost with it. Maybe even despondant. Dealing with a chronic illness with unpredictable symptoms is not easy. But what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, yes? So what has been going on? What have I been doing for my wellbeing and is it okay?
June was amazing! I was really focused, including on holiday. I took my gym kit and planned which days I would exercise; three times that week. I made 80/20 food choices and not only met but exceeded my step goal some days. It was an amazing feeling and I felt so proud.
On the whole, my health behaved itself! I had a few symptoms throughout the week but nothing much. I did then have a flare up at the airport, which was quite inconvenient! I think the symptoms were triggered by the feeling of the unknown, as we weren’t sure where to go in the car park and the airport itself. It might not sound like much, but I don’t know what else it could have been. I felt in fog and disorientated. Then before walking to the terminal, my legs felt weak and I was struggling to walk. For the return at Heathrow, we booked a wheelchair to use in the airport. That is a story in itself, so I would go into the detail here!
Usually after a flare up like that, I would rest for a couple of day or so, not making plans or commitments until I knew my energy had returned. Unfortunately I didn’t have the time and space to rest and recover in this way. With just one day in return, I was then off for a long weekend with my husband and his teenagers. Easy to say in hindsight, but it really isn’t how we would plan our time again.
July seemed slow on wellbeing progress. Fatigue visited on most days in one form or another. I didn’t get near step goal, despite taking part in a step challenge in a Facebook group. My husband did the majority of the dog walks or I went for short walks, as that’s all I could manage. I don’t mean to sound negative, just realistic and authentic.
So in summary, I’ve been feeling disappointed and frustrated that my fatigue symptoms have meant I could meet the goals I’d set myself. I’ve not been able to carry out HIIT workouts or meet my daily step count goal.
I’ve been thinking that I haven’t been working on my wellbeing. Then I had a realisation. I have been working on self-development and I’ve been working on exactly what I’ve needed. Rest.
It is difficult when chronic illness symptoms are unpredictable. When you don’t know from one day to the next, what you’ll be able to manage. The learning I have taken from the last couple of months is listen to what your body needs and honour that and be kind to yourself.
